


Unfulfilled

by adequatewriter



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Coma, Exes, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fun group of friends, Modern AU, Modern Setting, Original Characters - Freeform, Reylo Baby, Scalawags really, Stupid Ben, doctor ben, lots of cussing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-01-07 05:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18404042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adequatewriter/pseuds/adequatewriter
Summary: Five years. It had been five years since he’d seen her and now she was in his ER, bleeding to death.Another unknown child & doctor fic that no one asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

Benjamin Solo groaned as he was rudely awaken by the sound of his pager’s incessant beeping.

_Trauma ETA 15_

He stretched on the on-call bed that was way too small for his Sasquatchuan of a height and size.

Ben begrudgingly sat up and started to put on his shoes. He had been in the hospital since two in the morning, and he couldn’t wait to go home.

As usual, the tiredness got to him. He had to remind himself why he’s doing this. He’s in his second year of residency in EM. One more year. Just one more.

And saving lives also gets him through. That’s definitely important. That’s what he was about to do now.

He stood up and stuffed the stupid pager in his pocket before swinging the door open, the fluorescent lights blinding him. Ben walked the corridors with a frigid face. It often intimidated his coworkers. They thought he was a mean old grump, but in reality, for a long time now, he had been feeling a little off. He felt incomplete. Unfulfilled.

He truly didn’t know what was wrong with him. He graduated top of his class in med school and had gotten into one of the best hospitals in Massachusetts. He had good, but sometimes can be annoying, friends. He was living comfortably. There was nothing to complain about.

Well, there’s also that he hadn’t spoken to his parents for a long while now.

Maybe...nah, that’s probably not it.

Ben drowned himself in work in hope that it will get rid of this feeling. Finishing residency and passing the boards are what he hoped will make him complete. Sad, no?

“Nice bed head,” Poe Dameron snickered as he joined Ben’s side. Dameron was also a fellow EM resident, who handed him a pair of sterilized gloves.

Ben gave an annoyed huff before running a hand down his long dark hair. Winter, early evening breeze smacked them as they stepped out into the ambulance bay, goosebumps prickled their skins.

“Fresh air! I cannot wait until this shift is over,” Gwen Phasma came up behind them. Also another fellow EM resident of theirs. She cocked her head to the side at the sight of Ben’s wild hair. Her long arm stretched out and started to tame the mess.

“Stop it,” Ben grumbled but made no effort on fighting her, feeling like a child.

Phasma simply laughed in return. “Hey, are we still on for tonight?”

“Of course! It’s Benny boy’s 28th birthday. We’ve got to celebrate!” Poe answered animatedly.

“You guys know I don’t like birthdays,” Ben mumbled. It would be very easy to stop talking to them and just not go to the place his friends had plan on meeting and hopefully never see them again; however, with Poe being one of his roommates and all, they know where he lives.

She slung an arm around his shoulders. “No one actually hates their birthdays. Mos Eisley Cantina at 7. That’s final.”

Before Ben could even make some protest and argue that some people simply don’t like birthdays, the ambulances’ siren blared through that got them all to straighten up and focus. The doors opened and a child’s cry joined the siren.

A paramedic climbed out with a tiny boy wrapped in thick blanket, in arms. Phasma quickly ran up to them and started assessing while they walked inside.

Another paramedic climbed out and pulled the gurney out with the help from Ben and Poe.

“Semi-truck vs Car. Truck won. It slid over some patch of ice. The driver lost control, impacting Jane Doe’s car. It rolled over to the side,” a paramedic explained. “Car was almost totaled so we couldn’t ID her. Kid seems okay but we suspect she’s suffering from TBI. She’s been in and out. We lost her once on the way.”

Blood from a head wound was smeared on one half of Jane Doe’s face, making her more unrecognizable. Poe and Ben jumped into action and helped the paramedics roll her in to triage.

Nurses joined them and helped her get hooked up to monitors and worked on stabilizing her. Ben went up to her head to check her pupils.

He pulled out a pen flashlight out of his pocket and opened Jane Doe’s eye. As soon as he lifted an eyelid up, he recognized those eyes. The endearing freckles peppered on her cheeks did nothing but confirm his fear.

Ben stood back and froze. His chest constricted.

Memories from that spring of bliss from all those years ago flashed through, seeing those sweet eyes look at him, full of life then. The freckles he tried to count after one of their bedroom rendezvous. Her sweet laughter rang in his ear.

Rey.

Five years. It had been five years since he’d seen her and now she was in his ER, bleeding to death.

“Solo, everything alright?” Poe broke his reverie.

Ben shook his head and walked up to Rey’s eyes, hands shaking this time as he shone the flashlight.

He felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Uhh...both pupils are dilated.”

“She’s hemorrhaging. We gotta get her to CT so she can go straight to surgery. I’m going to go to call Skywalker.”

The nurses prepared and packed her up as they rolled her out and straight to CT. Ben watched them leave with glassy eyes, his feet not letting him move.

Poe thanked the paramedics before they left and started to pull off his bloodied gloves, dumping them into a nearby biohazard bin. He finally caught notice of the frozen Ben, staring at the now closed doors.

He scrunched his eyebrows in concern. “Dude, what’s wrong?”

Ben met his eyes with his friend’s. “It was Rey. Jane Doe is Rey.”

Well, that’s a name he hadn’t heard of in years. “Rey, your Rey? Are you sure? I thought she moved across the world or something.”

“It was her. I—I gotta go.” Ben quickly removed his gloves and booked out of the room.

“Ben, no,” Poe caught up and yanked his tall friend. “They’ve got her. Skywalker will take care of it. You’re a mess and we’ve already done all we can do.”

Ben tried to breathe easier as he absorbed his friend’s words.

“I’ll go update them about her identity and I’ll stay with her until she goes into surgery. I’ll update you. Want me to do that?”

“Momma! I want momma!” The boy’s cries escaped through the adjacent room that Phasma occupied. It reminded Ben about the special kid that Rey came in with. Who was calling her momma. Shit. She had a kid?

He looked back at Poe, feeling more conflicted than ever. “Yes. Please,” his voice rough. Poe didn’t need to hear it again and ran.

Ben followed the boy’s wailing and pushed the door open to find Phasma and a couple of nurses struggling to calm the boy.

The boy with dark brown hair with a gash on his forehead and arm, squirmed on the exam table.

“He seems fine except for the lacerations. But I can’t get him to calm down,” Phasma explained, looking exasperated.

“And you want to be in Peds,” Ben grumbled, getting a glare from the tall blonde. “Let me try.”

He went over to the table and almost awkwardly rubbed the kid’s back. “Shh, hey kid. What’s your name?”

Phasma knew her friend was good with kids but didn’t necessarily understand how and why. And she was jealous for that as she’s working on becoming Pediatric EM. Ben’s a no-nonsense guy when it comes to work and that still applied to his interactions with young patients. He doesn’t do the baby voice because it’s stupid, but yet the kids are still drawn to him. It was weird.

“I want my momma,” the boy whimpered out.

“Doctors are taking care of her. She’s going to be,” Ben looked around and gave a shaky breath before continuing. “Okay. While we wait, why don’t you let Dr. Gwen look at your scrapes?”

Phasma bristled at the use of her first name. She hated her first name. But if it helps her become likable to the kid, then fine.

There was a moment that they thought it worked but then. “No! I want my momma!” He flailed his arms, hitting one that’s wounded on Ben’s top. “Oww!” He cried even louder.

“See, it hurts. Dr. Gwen can fix it. It’ll be quick then we can see your momma,” Ben reasoned with the little boy. He seemed like a smart enough kid to understand.

The boy’s sobs subsided and slowly nodded because his cut did hurt. Phasma quickly assessed the lacerations while Ben tried to distract the kid. Rey’s kid.

About fifteen minutes had passed, when Phas got to start suturing the cuts that turned out to be deep. Local anesthetic and tiring himself out, the boy was a bit more cooperative.

“Solo, he could be your young doppelgänger. You guys look like so much. Hair, ears, and everything. Even got the scowl right.” Phasma said in a low voice while she worked on the boy’s arm. The nurses quietly chuckled as in their agreement.

See, Ben would’ve laughed too because it was true. The boy looked like a young picture of him that can be found in a photo album at his parent’s house. It was because of Rey that he didn’t laugh.

This is Rey’s kid. Rey, the woman that he was very active with before their relationship had ended. It is highly likely that this kid is his. Unless, Rey found someone that looked like Ben. He couldn’t decide which of the two he wanted to be true.

Phasma started on the laceration on his tiny forehead. He whimpered when she started to inject some lidocaine.

“Uhh hey, want to tell us your name?” Ben questioned in attempt to distract the boy.

“Theo,” the now named boy replied. Now, that he wasn’t wailing, Ben finally noticed his English accent. 

Theo. Ben thought that was a beautiful name. Damn, if the kid couldn’t be more cuter. 

“You’re doing great, Theo. Just a little more,” Phasma added as she finished injecting the local anesthetic. “Squeeze Ben’s arm as hard as you could when it hurts.”

“Yea, that’s me, Ben. How old are you?” He continued on.

Theo groaned a little when Phasma began to thread in the needle, squeezing Ben’s large arm. When it passed, he removed his tiny hand and raised four fingers. “Four.”

A gasped escaped his lips.

He had to be his.

“What?” Phasma glanced down at him.

Ben looked at Theo with a new point of view. He could be his son. There was this new urge to protect him with all his life. “Uh, nothing. So Theo, you have any favorite animals?”

======================

Skywalker, the best neurosurgeon in the hospital, had been operating on Rey for a couple of hours now.

His nephew sat in the waiting room, full of anxiety and worry. Ben itched to bounce his legs in order to ease some anxiety but didn’t want to wake up Theo, who was snoozing away on his lap.

If Ben could, he would admit Theo so he could be put into bed and rest easier.

His mind was like a bullet ricocheting off different objects. Various emotions and loaded questions bombarded him. Was Rey going to be okay? Was Theo his? Will he get to be part of their lives?

He could feel his chest fluttering and constricting. His anxiety came with heart palpitations. It was a total bitch. He really needed to calm down because he’s going to wake up Theo with his uneasiness.

Ben _tried_ took deep breaths in and out.

Poe had texted him earlier about how they were able to contact Rey’s emergency contact after finding out her name, and they should be coming any time minute now. 

“Rey Knight. She was in a car accident with her son. I would like to know where they are,” a man asked the nurse at the station, who came in all flustered.

Ben cocked his head to the side and squinted. “Finn?”

Finn turned around and froze. “ _Ben?_ ” He almost spat the name. The look of disgust and a bit of confusion could not have been mistaken on Finn’s face. With how things ended with Rey, Ben couldn’t blame Finn, but that look took him aback.

Then his gaze turned to the snoozing boy beside Ben, his face softening quickly. Finn approached them and noticed the new bandages. “Oh, Theo.”

“What happened?” Finn asked softly while he ran a hand through Theo’s dark hair.

“Truck hit them causing her car to roll over. Theo got a couple stitches but he’s going to be okay. Rey’s still in surgery. I haven’t gotten an update in a while,” Ben explained.

Finn looked at Theo then Ben warily. He doesn’t know if Ben noticed but Ben added. “Umm, just thought I should stay with him until someone gets him.”

Relieved that it doesn’t seem like Ben figured it out, Finn nodded and took a seat at the foot of Theo and slumped himself against the wall. “Rey has to be okay. She’s a fighter.”

Something Ben already knew. However, at the moment, there were a lot of things he didn’t know.

“So how long had Rey been back?”

Finn scoffed. “I think you lost the right to know things about her after what you did to her.”

Ben’s jaw tightened at the dig. Again, he knew it was true but damn, it still hurt.

“I should probably get him somewhere more comfortable,” Finn quickly stood up and carefully scooped Theo up. He didn’t want to say anything that aren’t his to say. 

“Wait, just answer at least this. Is he mine?”

Finn visibly stiffened then met Ben’s desperate gaze. “...No.”

With how that made him feel like he’d been punched in the gut, he finally learned which answer he preferred and it was the latter.

Then he noticed how nervous Finn got, who was chewing at his bottom lip.

“You’re a terrible liar, Finn.”

He frowned. “Look, Rey should be the one talking to you. And obviously now is not the time.”

Irritation etched on Ben’s face. He just wanted a straight answer. “I’m going to ask again. Is Theo mine?”

Finn hugged the boy in question tighter and sighed heavily. “Yes.”

_Happy Birthday to you._


	2. Chapter 2

    Elation, confusion, hurt and other feelings he couldn’t decipher at the moment, slapped him. But he did know one thing. He wanted Theo. His son.

 

    Does he know a single thing about being a father? Hell, no. But that’s for another time to think about.

 

    Ben asked Finn to stay and promised he wouldn’t bother him with anymore questions. Not that Ben doesn’t have any. Oh, he does. But again, that can be saved for later.

 

    The two, more like Finn really, had stop glaring at each other and sat on the couch in the waiting room, more civilized. They just had things to worry about other than each other.

 

    Since Theo was now slumbering away in Finn’s arms, Ben bounced his legs away. His mind was a mess, and he was just trying to focus on one thing.

 

    “Stop it,” Finn hissed. “You’re freaking me out. I’m already stressed enough.”

 

    Ben stopped for like a second, but subconsciously continued on. 

 

    “Finn Jones?” A voice asked. The boys swiveled their head to the source. It was a man with graying long hair.

 

    “Yes? Is Rey okay? How is she?”

 

    “I’m Dr. Skywalker. I think it’s best to come see Ms. Knight.” Luke shot a quick, puzzled look at his nephew, confused on why he was there, before leading Mr. Jones to Rey.

 

    They stopped in front of an ICU room, Ben just a short feet away from them. Through the glass, Rey can be found hooked into tubes and wires, her head wrapped in a white bandage. She got a few scrapes on her face and on her arm.

 

    “She suffered from a cerebral hemorrhage on both hemispheres, resulted from her head impacting the window when her car rolled. Too much pressure were on her brain, causing it to swell quickly. I decided to medically induced her to coma to let the brain heal and let the swelling go down,” Luke explained.

 

    “How long will she be asleep?” Finn asked, face contorted in worry.

 

    “Too early to tell. I’d like to keep her under for a little while until I see progress. But once when I get her off of the sedation, it’s all on her.”

 

    Finn nodded slowly.  “Can I go see her?”

 

    “Yes. But not for long though.”

 

    He readjusted Theo in his arms then walked into the room. “Rey,” he said almost like a whimper. She looked so tiny and fragile in the bed. He took her small hand and gave it a squeeze. “Pea, you gotta fight hard, okay? Fight hard for Theo, me. We’ll be here.” Finn looked up the ceiling to stop any tears from rolling down.

 

    Just from the other side of the glass door, Ben walked closer and took in the room. It pained to see her in such a dire state.

 

    “Medically induced coma is risky. Infections, reduced blood pressure—“ Ben flatly said, still staring into the room.

 

    “I’m going to remain optimistic,” Luke interrupted. “We’ll be monitoring her. She was fighter in the OR and I don’t think she’ll stop now.”

 

    Ben could only hope.

 

    Luke scanned Ben up and down before clearing his throat, “She must be some girl if you had Dameron hovering over me like an idiot while I operated and for you to be standing right here. How come I never met her?”

 

    “She is. It was during med school. Something I totally fucked up.” He frustratedly ran through his hair.

 

    Luke nodded with a frown. “The kid, yours isn’t he?”

 

    Ben’s gaze flicked from Rey to Theo, who was still passed out. “Yeah. Just found out.”

 

    Luke exhaled loudly. What a bomb to have been dropped. He had questions but kept it to himself. Sure, he was closer to Ben than Ben was to his parents as he basically raised the guy, but they weren’t exactly best friends.

    

    “Well, I’m here for you kid, if you need me. I’ll check on her tomorrow. You should go home too. She’ll still be here. Be optimistic,” he had said and patted his nephew’s shoulder. Ben was heavily annoyed how much his uncle was suddenly preaching optimism.

 

    Luke started to head down the hallway and said over his shoulders, “Your parents said Happy Birthday. You should call them.” Then he was gone around the corner.

 

    Fat chance, Ben thought.

 

    Finn shut the glass door behind him, sniffling. “Hey, I’m going to take him home so he can sleep better. Plus he probably shouldn’t see her like this. I’ll be back in the morning. I have a friend that can watch him.”

 

    “...Okay,” Was all Ben could say. Unsure on what one was supposed to say or do after learning about having a four year old son. Finn turned and started to walk away.

 

    “Oh, wait,” Ben called out as he rummaged in his pocket to pull out a now wrinkled brochure. “Some information about caring for his stitches. Inside, I-I also gave a list of some best medications for his pain and discomfort.”

 

    Finn looked at him slightly dumbfounded. The gesture was a common practice all physicians do to keep the patients informed, but to Finn, it sounded different. He was talking like a worried and very concerned...parent. Nothing like Rey had said on how Ben would have acted about the baby.

 

     He took the pamphlet. “Thanks. I’ll be here tomorrow.”

 

     Ben watched Finn walk way, mainly focusing on the sleeping boy in Finn’s shoulder.

 

     He hoped he’ll be able to see him soon, too.

 

======================

 

    “Wow,” Phasma said with her eyebrows up to her hairline, then sipping long at her drink. She had just finished listening to Poe explain how Ben is connected to their last patients. “Ben Solo, a dad?”

 

    Poe gave an amused scoff before taking a drink from his beer. He couldn’t even fathom what Ben was going through.

 

    “You know, I see it,” she nodded. Poe cracked a smile and nodded too. They imagined Giant Ben cradling a tiny boy.

 

    Poe looked at his watch. “Well, looks like he’s not coming.” Which was well understandable. 

 

    Phasma fixed the birthday hat on her head and sighed. “Yeah. I don’t think birthday hats will fix any of his issues, anyways. Or this beautiful cupcake that I may or may not have stolen from the break room.”

 

    “Probably not but we can still eat the cupcake.”

 

    Warmth wrapped around Ben as he stepped foot into the bar. Music, people’s chatters, and glasses clinking, filled the place.

 

    He should’ve gone home, but he knew it would just consist of him laying in bed, not getting a wink of sleep that he yearned earlier as he would be merely plagued with worry over Rey and questions about his son.

 

    So, he was in the crowded bar where his friends had plan on celebrating his dumb birthday.

 

    He scanned the bar to find them chatting away at a corner booth, seemingly arguing about the cupcake that sat between them. Ben shook his head in amusement, but groaned when he saw them wearing party hats as he got closer.

 

    “Hey,” Ben stopped in front of the booth.

 

    “Ben!” Poe and Phasma greeted in unison. “Happy Birthday!”

 

    He gave a small, sad smile. His friends were incorrigible. “Thank you.”

 

     Poe scooted on the bench for a space for Ben. He handed him a newly opened beer which Ben took a very, long drink from. Phas and Poe shared a look as they went quiet and watch Ben start to pick at the bottle’s label

 

    “Five years,” he began quietly, still picking at the sticker. “I haven’t seen her. Now, she’s back, induced to a coma and with a kid that’s mine. I don’t even—“ His voice cracking at the end. 

 

    Sympathetic faces looked back at him. His whole life changed in the span of five hours. Phasma got up and situated herself on the other side of Ben. He was surprised when he was suddenly sandwiched in a bear hug.

 

    “Please stop hugging me.”

 

    “No,” Poe quickly replied and hugged tighter.

 

    Phasma hummed in agreement. “We’re here for you. We can help with anything. We’re speaking for Hux, too.”

 

    “Uh, thank you. But please stop hugging me.”

 

    A server walked up to them, unsure of what was going on. “Umm, can I get you guys anything?”

 

    Phasma lets go of Ben. “3 rounds of shots please! Keep them coming. I think we’ll be here for a while.”

 

    When things are tough, friends are always best to have around. It makes the drinking your sorrows away, well, less sad. 

    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m glad y’all enjoyed the first chapter and want more! I can’t wait where this story takes. 
> 
> *sorry for any medical inaccuracies*
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! :)


	3. Chapter 3

    “Psst, Ben. Bennn. Wake up. Psst.”

 

    Ben rolled over onto his back to be blinded by sunlight, quickly shielding his eyes with his forearm. “What the fuck?”

 

    “Wakey wakey,” Poe teased. “I got water and painkillers here for you.”

 

    Now that he had pointed it out, his head thrummed loudly. This is usually the part when he promises to stop drinking, but in a few days he’ll be making the same promise.

 

    Ben didn’t move from his position, unable to move his body. Poe stepped on his bed and plopped next to Ben, shaking his shoulder. “Wake uppp.”

 

    Why’d he even drink so much?

 

    Oh, right.

 

    The events from last night poured over him like a bucket of ice cold water. Shit. Damn. Fuck. Did it really all happened?

 

    Finally, Ben removed his arm and rubbed his face. “Rey’s at the hospital?” He needed to know he wasn’t in some twisted dream.

 

    “Yup.”

 

    “I got a kid?”

 

    “Yup.”

 

    Ben dramatically dropped his arms on his side. “Fuck.”

 

    “Yup,” Poe ended with a pop on the p then placed a bottle on Ben’s chest. “Here’s, your water.”

 

    He finally looked at Poe and half-heartedly glared at him. “Stop being nice. It’s irritating.”

 

   Poe couldn’t help but to chuckle. “What? I’m always this nice.” He got up from his bed and stood by the doorway.

 

    “No. You would’ve poured this water on me already.”

 

    It was only that one time. Poe laughed a little at that memory. Then sighed, “Look man, with Hux still out on his sabbatical, Phas and I need to work harder on making sure you don’t—fall apart.”

 

    Ben recoiled his head in offense. He propped himself on his elbows and gave his friend a stern look. “I’m not going to fall apart. I’m a big guy.” Ironically, he sounded like a stubborn boy...the usual.

 

    See, Benny boy here, his height and demeanor might be intimidating, can even be called scary, but he’s a big softy and emotional mess on the inside. Hence the feeling of lack of fulfillment lately.

 

    When the world decides to shit on him, he goes through stages. Like when he found out Bazine, his definitely now ex-girlfriend, cheated on him throughout their year long relationship, he did fall apart in his own version. He shutdown, drank a lot, or drowned himself in work deeper than he was now. His slight anger issues arose during those stages. He eventually got over it, but it took months.

 

    Poe gave him an all knowing look. Ben quickly realized on what he was referring to and laid back down in defeat. “This is different. Totally different.”

 

    Because it was different. There was a kid involved. His to be exact. He can’t be shutting down. And he believed that Rey was going to wake up from the coma with no issues afterward. Nothing was wrong or going to be wrong, so there was no reason to be falling apart.

 

    God, his uncle’s sudden optimism has gotten to him.

 

    “Whatever,” Poe threw a bottle of ibuprofen by him. “Just take the pills, man.”

 

    Sitting up, Ben sighed and obeyed, taking a long drink from the bottle. “What even happened last night?”

 

    Poe leaned back on the door frame. “We got really drunk, so drunk we fought over that cupcake that eventually fell on the floor. Then you banged the server from the bar. She was really loud,” he winked at him that got Ben to grimace. “I had to kick her out earlier. It’s cold outside, must’ve been quite a walk of shame for her.”

 

    “What?!” How could be such an idiot, sleeping with some random schmuck, when Rey had a tube breathing for her? This is why he never deserved her in the first place.

 

    Poe raised his hands in mock surrender with a shit eating grin. “I’m just kidding!”

 

    “Get the fuck out.” Ben growled.

 

    Poe quickly left the room, shutting the door. “Get ready! We’re gonna be late!”

 

======================

 

    Ben had planned on visiting Rey as soon as he got to work, but working in the ER means there’s almost always emergency. That day it seemed like there’s was always emergency. It was mid-afternoon when he finally got a free time to see Rey.

 

    He had found out that she was transferred out of the ICU and into her private room. A machine no longer breathed for her. That was progress.

 

    She still looked so tiny in the bed, though. Weak and fragile. Two things that Rey worked so hard to be the total opposite.

 

    He stood by a nurses’ station that had great view to Rey’s room. In his hand was a random chart that he took, so he didn’t look like a creeper.

 

    “I don’t think alarms are gonna go off if you go in there and see her.” Luke’s voice got him to flinch.

 

    Ben took off his eyes off Rey and looked down at his shoes. He’s been itching to go inside the room and hold her hand, whisper some encouragement. But, he didn’t feel like it would be right. Consent is important and Rey _hated_ him, and she probably wouldn’t want him anywhere near her. So, that’s why he stood by the nurses’ station, and tried to satisfy himself with yearning stare. Nurses had given him odd looks already.

 

    “How is she?” He asked, totally ignoring his uncle’s comment.

 

    “Her brain activity looked great. The swelling immensely went down overnight. She’s something,” Luke smiled, that got Ben to feel pride over Rey. “So I took her off barbiturate. With her fairly high score on the Glasgow scale and young age, I have no worries on her not waking up.”

 

    Ben nodded. This was good. This was all good. She should be waking up in a day or so. The pressure he felt on his chest that’s been since she was rolled in, eased off just a smidge. He could breathe a little better.

 

    He fixed his gaze into her room again. “Have you told Finn?”

 

    “Mr. Jones? I don’t think he’s stopped by yet.”

 

    Ben frowned a little. Rey shouldn’t be left alone.

 

    As usual, Luke silently scans his nephew. The kid he remembered being a scrawny teenager had now turned into a tall, brooding doctor. Luke wished Ben would fully talk to him sometimes. He wanted to know what was going on. But Luke knew he’ll open up eventually. He hoped it was soon.

 

    “Alright, I got a tumor to remove. Page me if you need me.” With that, he was gone.

 

    Ben was left alone with his thoughts. He wondered where Finn could be?

 

    He fished his phone out of his pocket. Surely, Finn hasn’t changed his number from five years ago. Surely.

 

    He scrolled and pressed the button.

 

    First ring. Second ring. Third ring.

 

    “Hello?”

 

    Ben cleared his throat. “Uh, hey. It’s Ben.”

 

    “Oh, hey. Sorry, I haven’t been able to see Rey. My friend can’t take Theo, and he’s been fussing. He has a fever. I don’t know from all the stress I guess.”

 

    Ben could hear a faint wailing in the background. “Uh, you can bring him here so I can take a look at him while you visit Rey.”

 

    “Yeah. That sounds good. I really want to see her. Thanks. I’ll be there in half an hour.”

 

    They said their goodbyes and hung up. Ben gave Rey one more look before going back downstairs.

 

    She’ll be okay.

 

======================

 

    Half an hour. That’s what Finn said.

 

    Ben looked at the clock on the wall then at his watch. It’s been an hour and thirty minutes, and they were still not there.

 

    “Dude, that abdominal pain guy you handed to me is something else,” Poe said as he joined Ben’s side. “He fricking swallowed Legos to see if they would come out built.”

 

    Poe waited for a response but got nothing. Damn, Hux would’ve found that amusing. Sighing, Poe looked over to whatever Ben was so focused on his phone for.

 

    “Who’s Finn?”

 

    Ben replies without looking up. “Rey’s friend. Remember? He was the emergency contact.”

 

    If Ben looked up, he would’ve seen Poe’s eyes widened in surprise. Finn. How did Poe not connect it earlier? Of course Finn would be the one with Rey and taking care of her son. Well, shit. It had been five years since he had seen Finn too.

 

    “He said he would bring Theo here almost two hours ago. What could be taking so long?” Ben talked more to himself.

 

    Poe’s mind was somewhere else but replied with “Maybe traffic.”

 

    Ben gave an annoyed huff. He was about to hit the call button until a “Hey” was said behind them.

 

    Poe and Ben turned around to find a disheveled Finn, carrying a sleeping four year old.

 

    “Sorry. He’s been throwing a fit since he woke up this morning. He got a fever, too. Then he wouldn’t get in the car for some reason. Only when he cried himself to sleep that I was able to get him here.”

 

    Ben frown deepened while Finn explained. The poor kid had been through enough. Rey needed her kid, and her kid truly need her.

 

    Finn and Poe briefly glanced at each other. Trying to communicate with looks but failed.

 

    “I’ll get him for you,” Poe hesitantly offered. Finn placed Theo into Poe’s arms.

 

    “They moved Rey out of the ICU. She’s in room 426 now. I’ll let Skywalker know to meet you up there.”

 

    Finn distractedly nodded. “How is she? Is she awake?”

 

    “No, not yet but seems like everything’s going to be alright. She’s out of the ICU. Dr. Skywalker will tell you everything.”

 

    Relief visibly washed over Finn and let out a small smile. “That’s great. Thank you. Please update me on Theo.”

 

    Ben nodded in understanding. Him and Poe were about to enter an exam room when Finn turned back around.

 

    “You can’t say anything to him. It’s not your call to make. It’s Rey’s.”

 

    Ben scrunched his eyebrows in frustration then scoffed. “I know that. I’m not an idiot.”

 

    “Well, if you weren’t, then she would’ve told you about him a long time ago,” Finn retorted with a glare then walked away.

 

    Poe lifted his eyebrows. He wasn’t aware of how bad the breakup was. He thought it was just Rey having to leave and Ben got all sad. Guess, there was more to it.

 

    Ben’s grip on his phone tightened, seeming like he was going to smash it. For the hundredth time, Finn couldn’t be more wrong. Ben was mad. Mad at himself. If he hadn’t ruin what he and Rey had all those years ago, then everything might’ve been prevented. Rey wouldn’t be in a coma. Theo would know who he was. They could’ve been a family.

 

    “Solo,” Poe broke through his drowning thoughts. “Come on.”

 

    They settled Theo on the exam room. This kid must’ve been so exhausted because he still hasn’t woken up.

 

    Poe looked around to gather some medical tools. Ben removed his stethoscope around his neck and placed the ear tips to his ears.

 

    “What do you think you’re doing?” Poe whispered incredulously.

 

    “Going to hear how his breathing is like,” Ben stated the obvious, lowering his voice as well.

 

    “You’re his father. Hospital rules says that we can’t treat family members. We could already get in trouble for checking him without records. Step. Away.”

 

    Ben groaned but stepped away and placed the stethoscope back around his neck.

 

    “Man,” Poe thought out loud as he placed a forehead thermometer across Theo’s forehead. “I’m an uncle. That’s wild. I don’t think I’m ready to be an uncle.”

 

    Ben gave him an incredulous look. “Dude, shut up. You think I’m ready to be a father?”

 

    Poe laughed. “Sorry, I forgot you were there.” The thermometer beeped. “101.6. Not too bad but also not good.”

 

    “Check his stitches. Maybe, infection but I watched Phas do it, it couldn’t be.”

 

    “Then it’s probably just psychogenic fever. But I’ll clean his sutures.”

 

    Ben situated himself on a chair while Poe gathered supplies to clean the wound. When he was ready, he realized he hasn’t thought of everything. The bandage’s tape. It was gonna hurt.

 

    “Do it slow,” Ben suggested.

 

    Poe had the nerve to crack a smile and wink at Ben. “That’s what she said.”

 

    “Dameron,” Ben warned. 

 

    “Alright, Alright.” Poe obeyed and started to peel the tape on his forehead head, slowly as he could.

 

    Then, then Theo started to stir. His eyes fluttered open. When he realized he was somewhere that was not his uncle’s house, he was not happy. His wail filling the small room said so.

 

    “Hey, hey. You’re alright. Remember me? Ben?” He quickly stood up.

 

    He seemed to calm down a little from that. “Where’s momma? Uncle Finn?”

 

    “Oh my god,” Poe lit up at probably the wrongest time. “He’s got the accent. That’s fu—friggin adorable.”

 

    Ben shot a glare at his friend. “Hey, Finn is visiting your mom.”

 

    Theo hiccuped, calming from his outburst, and wiped his eyes with his forearm. “Can I go see her, too? He said she was sleeping.”

 

    “That’s right and she’s still sleeping. But you can go see her after Poe,” he said as he pointed as his friend. “gives you a check up.”

 

    “You said that last time.” Theo whimpered out. “I want to see her.”

 

    Well, he got him there.

 

    Ben sighed. “Kid, you fell asleep. Not my fault.”

 

    “Theo, I promise I’ll make the check up fast so we can go see your mom,” Poe jumped in. Theo stared at this new person, thinking and scrutinizing.

 

    In the end, he nodded in agreement, giving Ben with much relief. He grabbed a tissue and handed it to the boy, almost awkwardly. Okay, very awkward.

 

    Poe gave him an amused look. “He’s four, Ben.” He took the tissue from Ben and helped the kid wipe his tear stained face.

 

    “No more tears. Okay, bud?” Poe crouched down to the four year old’s eye level. “I’ll just clean your cuts real quick then we’ll get out of here.”

 

    Theo was now sobering up and had gotten a rush of energy and excitement that Ben haven’t seen from the short moments they’ve had together. “To see momma?” He asked with a grin, cheek dimpling. 

 

    Ben couldn’t help but let out a smile too and affirm his question. “To see your mom.”

 

    The mom in question was Rey. Who was in a controlled room where she was in a comatose state, unknown when exactly she’ll wake up.

 

    But at that moment, that was forgotten. The effect of Theo’s little smile, that’s a replicate of his mother’s, on Ben was that powerful. 

 

    Crap.

 

    Each moment that passed, he was getting more and more attached. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that not much happened and that I took forever to update again. Next chapter will be soon and things will pick up. Thank you and hope you enjoyed!


	4. Chapter 4

“I can _walk_ ,” Theo whined as he was being pushed in a wheelchair by Poe. This stubbornness and feistiness were definitely from Rey…maybe a little bit from Ben too.

 

“I’m sure you can, but you have a fever and should be resting,” Poe argued back. The three entered an empty elevator. Theo gave no more fuss during his checkup. Much to their relief, no signs of infection were seen, so Poe just cleaned and covered it back up. Ben had been quiet ever since, and Poe wondered why.

 

They got off the lift and headed their way to Rey’s room. When they reached the room, Ben waved Finn over through the window.

 

“Uncle Finn!” He squirmed in the wheelchair.

 

“Hey, T!” Finn genuinely grinned and scooped him up, happy to see other than a scowl on his nephew’s adorable face. “How are you feeling?”

 

“I want to see momma.” He demanded.

 

Finn sighed but took Theo inside Rey’s room. “She’s gonna being sleeping here for awhile, bud.”

 

He was sad to his mom this way. All he remembered last was them singing his favorite song before everything went bad. “Why?” He asked with his bottom lip slightly trembling.

 

Finn planted a kiss on top of his head. “Her head got pretty hurt in the accident. She needs to heal.”

 

“What if I kiss it better?”

 

Finn’s heart melted a little. He would die for this boy. “I think she’ll very much love that. We’ll give it a try.” He helped him lean so he could kiss Rey’s exposed skin underneath her head bandage. The kiss was loud and sweet.

 

Ben and Poe witnessed the scene from the outside. It had them all hoping that Rey would wake up very, very, very soon.

 

======================

 

One day past, then another, then another, and Rey was still not awake.

 

The past days consisted of a hopeful Finn visiting each morning and night after his work, bringing Theo with him only once since hospitals aren’t really a place for a kid to hang out at.

 

Previous days also consisted of Ben’s patience thinning each second. He was for sure she would’ve been awake by now.

 

He barged into Luke’s office once with the exact same thought.

 

_“She should be awake now.”_

 

_Luke stared at him for a moment before continuing to his sandwich. He made a show of taking a bite then chasing it with his green beverage. He cleared his throat and straightened up. “These things take time. You know that. She’s breathing on her own. She’s moved. Eyes and hands. Her Glasgow score is still up. Her organs aren’t showing any signs of failure. She will wake up. Can I eat my sandwich in peace now?”_

 

“Chinese, Thai, or Italian for dinner?Solo. Woohoo!” Poe broke through his thoughts. It was the weekend and both of their days off landed on the same day. Poe was in the kitchen, just finished rummaging through their fridge.

 

“Huh? Oh, I don’t care. You decide,” Ben replied back from the living room. He took a swig from his beer. On his days off, he usually takes the time to relax or catch some sleep, but today was anything but relaxing. His mind was going 100 miles per hour with expectations, questions, and more questions about this whole situation.

 

“ _Okay_. I’m getting tacos and burritos then,” his roommate said and walked out the door.

 

Ben went back to his NFL game, Patriots playing. This was his attempt on shutting or at least distracting his brain. He cracked open another bottle open when his phone rang.

 

Finn.

 

He hadn’t seen Theo since that last time. The anxiety butterfly danced in his chest. 

 

“Hey.”

 

“Ben, I need a favor. I got an emergency at work and it’s gonna go overnight. They’re asking me to come in. No one can watch Theo. So—um—I’m asking if you can.” Over the phone, Finn was packing up Theo’s little, green book bag.

 

Watching him for a night. Was Ben ready for it? The flutter in his chest intensified. “Uh, I would love to, but wouldn’t that be too much? Rey doesn’t even know I know. I don’t think she’d appreciate Theo spending the night over here behind her back.”

 

Ben was definitely not the first one Finn had called. In fact, he was the tenth one. “Don’t you think I know that? You were not the first one I called, and I’ve already begged to get out of this thing at work and they wouldn’t budge. This is desperation. Theo likes you anyways and—and I trust you with him. Rey may or may not understand it, and she’ll probably hate—“

 

“Alright, I’ll do it.” Ben interrupted him. He heard Finn getting stressed with each sentence, so he decided to spare him. Plus, he was pretty sure that Rey’s anger was going to go straight to him, not her best friend. 

 

“Thank you. Send me your address.”

 

======================

 

Poe came home with two bags full of tacos and burritos as he promised he would get. “Ben, I’m back with the food! Where you at?” He asked as he pulled out the delicious stuff.

 

“In here!”

 

He hung his head to the side, confused on what Ben was doing on that side of their loft. He walked over to find Ben in Hux’s room, changing the sheets of the bed. “Uh, what’re you doing?”

 

“Theo’s spending the night. Finn got called into an emergency at work, so umm I was the last resort to take him,” there was some bitterness in that last statement. “I was thinking he could sleep in here so—so now I’m changing the sheets ‘cause it’s Hux and the amount of girls he had in this is.” He punctuated with a grimace.

 

Poe laughed, “Wow, you were talking for a long time and fast but very smart on changing the sheets.”

 

Ben walked past him to take the dirty sheets to the laundry, Poe following, though stopping in the kitchen.

 

“Why’d you buy so much?” Ben asked after he came back and saw the all the bags.

 

“I’m so hungry and good thing I did because Theo’s coming!”

 

Before Ben could make an argument about wasting food and money, a knock rapped on their door.

 

“Showtime, Dad,” Poe smirked.

 

Ben shoved him then went to open the door. He started to wonder when he was going to meet Theo when he’s not either crying or sleeping because that’s what he opened the door to. A tear stained boy.

 

“Hey,” Finn shortly greeted Ben. “T, come on. We’re out of the car now. We’re here at Ben’s. I have to go to work, okay? You’ll get to spend the night here.” He placed Theo on the ground and ushered him to go inside.

 

“He put up a tantrum with getting in the car again, that’s why we’re late. Okay, here’s all the stuff he could need,” Finn handed Ben the green book bag. “And he’s only allergic to strawberries. Thank you for doing this, and I’ll be back in the morning. Call me if there's any trouble."

 

Poe and Finn met eyes again, this time successfully communicating that they had to talk soon. Ben totally being oblivious to it. 

 

Finn crouched down to Theo. “I’m sorry, I’m leaving, T. But I swear I’ll be back early tomorrow then we can visit your mom again, okay?” Theo begrudgingly nodded. After one more hug, Finn left.

 

The two doctors and the tiny human stood in the foyer for a moment.

 

“So, um. You want to eat tacos?” Poe broke the silence.

 

“What’s that?” He asked in his cute innocent voice.

 

Ben and Poe shared a surprised look. “You never had tacos?! Come on, I have a lot. You will love it.”

 

That’s how they spent the night. Theo ate two tacos and shared a burrito with Ben. Poe wasn’t the only hungry one. Then they watched Theo’s favorite movie, Toy Story, while they recover from their stuffing dinner. Ben had learned that Theo’s starting kindergarten on the upcoming Monday since him and Rey had officially moved back to Massachusetts.

 

Ben helped Theo brush his teeth, clean his stitches, get into his pajamas, and settle into Hux’s large bed. Theo told him to read him the book that Finn had packed. Half through the thin story book, Theo was already out.

 

A small smile grew on Ben’s face. It was so odd to be suddenly all domestic with a kid, but it also felt right. So right. He was down for his nights to be like this all the time. He wanted to be with him on his first day of kindergarten and any other firsts for that matter. He had already missed so many, and he wouldn’t want to miss anymore. He wouldn’t blame Rey if he never forgave him, but he damn well hoped that she would be amicable and let him be part of Theo’s life.

 

“Goodnight,” he whispered, turning off the lights, then leaving the door cracked.

 

As cheesy as it was, at 11:11 pm, he wished for Rey to wake up and to be part of his son’s life forever.

 

======================

 

It was half past one in the morning when Hux entered the dark and quite loft. He struggled to maneuver around the place apartment with his hands occupied with a luggage and a pet carrier in the other.

 

“Shit,” he cursed in a whisper after bumping into an end table in the living room. “Sorry, Millie.” He placed his luggage to the side and placed the carrier on the couch. He unlatched the door and let the cat out…of the ‘bag’. Hux picked the orange tabby up. “Alright, Millicent. Please don’t make a mess. I’m tired and want to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

He gave the cat one last hug before helping her settle in a make-shift bed on the couch. Hux went into his bedroom, leaving the door cracked just in case Millie wanted to come in, and shook off his shoes. Then his coat followed, throwing it haphazardly on his bed. He got in his bed with a satisfying sigh. The feeling of being in your own bed after being gone for a long time is just the best feeling in the world.

 

His nose scrunched to the new smell of his bed sheets. It’s fresh and definitely not his old one. He doesn’t know who changed it, but he ain’t complaining. He rolled onto his side, and his eyes started to flutter shut whenhe finally caught notice of the silhouette of a sleeping kid.

 

What in the hell? His eyes almost popped out of its sockets, and he scrambled out of his bed, running across the apartment to knock at Ben’s door.

 

He knocked loudly at the metal door, still frantic. There was a kid in his bed. He was not imagining things. Was he gone for that long that one of his roommates got a kid?

 

The door opened to find a sleepy and angry Ben. “What the—Hux?” The anger turned into confusion.

 

“There’s a fucking kid in my bedroom. Care to tell me whose kid it is?”

 

Ben rubbed his eyes awake, finally understanding. “Uh, that’s Theo.”

 

“Who’s Theo?”

 

Man, Ben didn’t really want to rehash this in the middle of the night. “He’s—he’s my son.”

 

“What?—what?” Hux had to take a pause.

 

Ben mumbled, “It’s a long story.”

 

Hux gave him an incredulous look. “Oh _really._ ”

 

“You didn’t wake him up, did you?” Ben pushed past him and started to walk towards Hux’s door.

 

“I don’t know! I got the fuck out of there.” He said from behind.

 

The orange kitty jumped on the top cushions of the couch, meowing, which had Ben to halt on his steps. “Now, what the hell is that?

 

The frazzled Hux turned into a bashful one. “Oh—uh.”

 

The door nearby Ben’s opened for a yawning Poe to come out. “Hux? You’re back. You didn’t tell us you were coming home. You guys are so loud.”

 

“Solo has a kid,” Hux pointed at Ben.

 

Ben pointed back at him. “Hux has a cat.”

 

Poe approached them, scratching his chin. “Yeah. You would’ve been caught up with all this stuff if you answered your phone. It's been quite a week."

 

Hux sighed and looked down at his socked feet, “I was taking a break.”

 

“What’d you even do in England?"

 

“I—“

 

“Ben?”

 

The three swiveled their heads towards down the hallway to see Theo’s little head peeking from the doorway.

 

“Am I okay to come out?”

 

“Yeah. Everything’s fine, bud,” Poe offered.

 

“He doesn’t know yet, okay?” Ben quickly whispered to Hux.

 

Theo’s feet pattered on the wood floor towards the group of men. He was decked out in his dinosaur pajamas, a teddy bear that seems like that it had been through a lot, clutched around his arms.

 

As soon as he saw the kid, Hux already knew where the egg came from. “Holy shit, it’s Rey’s,” he said underneath his breath. Ben wasn't even surprised how he easily figured it out.

 

Little Theo opened his arms towards Ben, asking to be carried.

 

Ben was a little astonished by the gesture at first but picked him up as if he’s done it a million times before. “Sorry, we woke you up. This is Hux, a friend of ours.”

 

Theo laid his head on Ben’s shoulder, still holding his teddy bear tight.

 

Hux grinned. “Hey, little mate. Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.”

 

The four year old let out a drowsy smile. “You don’t talk funny.”

 

Hux chuckled, knowing full well what the kid meant. “I see you don’t talk funny either. Poe and Ben sound silly, don’t they? Americans.” Theo giggled in response, definitely him agreeing. 

The _Americans_ rolled their eyes, though in amusement. Ben gave the boy a bounce. “Alright, let’s get you back to bed.”

 

======================

 

“He’s asleep,” Ben announced when he found his roommates lounging in the living room, plopping himself next to Hux on the couch. He watched Poe cuddle the orange animal on the adjacent couch. “Obviously, we have a lot to talk about. For starters, that cat.”

 

“Her name is Millicent. Just a cat.” Hux explained nonchalantly.

 

Poe gasped dramatically and covered the said cat’s ears. “Just a cat?”

 

“You were gone for a month and came back with a cat that has a weird name. What happened?”

 

Hux played with the throw pillow’s edge for awhile before speaking up, “My father died. He controlled everything there with his business and other family things. I had to sort them out.”

 

“Shit. Why didn’t you tell me?” Ben asked. He was a little hurt since the two basically have been best friends since they were ten. Hux’s parents were divorced when he was eight, and his mother decided to stay in Boston while his father went back to his some prestigious business back in England. 

 

“‘Cause it wasn’t like a secret that my father and I didn’t get along.” Hux shrugged. “And I dunno. Just felt being alone and handling it myself. Millie was apparently his and nobody wanted her and would’ve just sent her to the pound, so I took her. No one’s allergic, right?”

 

The boys shook their head ‘no’ in unison, still quietly processing Hux’s news.

 

Poe scratched the cat’s head. “Well, sorry for your lost Armitage. We’re here for you and we can definitely keep Millie.” Ben reached over and patted his best friend’s shoulder as a way to say his support.

 

A light chuckle escaped Hux’s lips. “Thanks. It’s Solo’s turn now. How is the kid allowed to stay with you after what happened with Rey?”

 

Ben was quiet, so Poe took that as a key and told the whole story. Accident. Coma. Old lover. New kid. The whole shabang.

 

“Well, damn.” Hux said as he looked out into empty space. He really should’ve turned his phone on. "She's going to wake up. She will. But when she does, it's going to be a mess." 

 

Poe has had enough. “I apparently missed something because I thought things with Rey didn’t end _that_ bad. So how exactly did you end it?”

 

This time, Ben wasn't saved by Hux or anyone. Eventually, words came out of Ben’s mouth and he kept on talking, reliving through the memory.

 

When he finished, it was Poe’s turn to be dumbfounded.

 

“You’re an actual fucking douchebag, Solo.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised that things will pick up. And I realized it kind of did but not really. I don't know. And sorry I had to end it like that. Next chapter ya'll will see why Solo WAS a douchebag. Hoped you enjoyed anyways, thank you!!


	5. Chapter 5

_“We can give you until Monday to think about it, but we’d definitely loved to have you join us, Ms. Knight.”_

 

_“Thank you so much, Dr. Kendall.I’m forever grateful. You’ll definitely hear from me soon.”_

 

_They shook hands and bade their goodbyes._

 

_Rey Knight walked out of the building with a beaming smile. A bounce to her steps. She hopped into her car to finally scream out her excitement. A prestigious private medical practice had just offered her, her dream job._

 

 _Rey. Rey Knight. They_ **_wanted_ ** _her. She had just graduated nursing school in less than two years, and she had already gotten an offer of a lifetime. Someone from the hospital she worked at had discovered. They fell in love with her tenacious attitude…Her impressive grades and test scores were just a bonus._

 

_Unfortunately, her celebrating bubble popped when her phone dinged._

 

**_The guys are out for the night. You want to come over? I can make dinner._ **

 

_Rey sweet smile quickly turned into a frown, both in response to the person who sent the message._

 

_Ben Solo._

 

_An idiot, her idiot, that was in his second year of med school._

 

_She was hopelessly into this Sasquatch of a man._

 

_It was supposed to be a one night stand thing after some intense flirting at a bar. One night stand turned into many nights. Few months later, there they were now._

 

_Rey was staying at his apartment more than at her own, so his text about coming over was redundant. Her friends and his friends have combined, and she viewed it as her own little family. And she loved it. Being raised in the foster care system most of her life, she’ll cherish any family she’ll get._

 

_Ben had totally fucked her over. Literally and figuratively. Good ways. He made her feel all type of things that past relationships have never let her experienced. Thrilled, educated, accepted, appreciated, and loved…Loved._

 

_Fuck. Love? Blehhh. The L word._

 

 _It was at that moment, in her old Mini Cooper, that she realized she_ **_loved_ ** _Ben Solo._

 

_Fuck was right._

 

_The heat and emotions that thrummed throughout her chest made her frown deepen, not breakout into her classic Rey smile._

 

_Because that dream job she was just offered was based in England, ironically where she was born._

 

_They have never said the words out loud to each other, and she really hoped he felt the same way._

 

_Were five months into a relationship too early to say the L word?_

 

_Rey decided to f that question and just go tell him because this was her career in line, too. She buckled up and put her car into gear, quickly making her way to his place._

 

_When she had arrived to his place, she found him cooking away in the kitchen, singing along to some pop song that he has blasting from his phone, his waist twisting a little to the beat. This was the man she loved. She took in it, treasuring really. There was a 50/50 chance for this whole thing crumpling or still working out after what she’s about to drop. She hoped for the latter._

 

_“Oh, hey!” Ben greeted, hastily lowering the Taylor Swift song. His cheeks had a tint of pink to it._

 

_Rey strode across the room to give him the most passionate kiss she could give, taking him by surprise at first but still instantly reciprocating._

 

_“What was that for?” He asked with a laugh after pulling apart._

 

_“Ben, I love you.”_

 

_The corner of his lips twitched into a smile. “I—“_

 

_“I got a job offer from a private practice that’s based in England,” she interrupted. “But I’d be traveling around third world countries. It pays really well, too. It’s a great job, but...I’m in love with you. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone. Tell me to not take it.”_

 

_Okay, she could've probably phrased it better, but the saying does say that love makes people do stupid things._

 

_There was a nine months pregnant pause._

 

_The smile on Ben’s face was long gone. He cleared his throat then looked down at the floor before talking. “You should take it. Rey, we’ve only known each other for like three months.”_

 

 **_Five._ ** _Rey seethed inside._

 

_“How could anyone really love someone in that short amount of time? And we’ve never really made it official, right? It sounds like your dream job, Rey. Take it.”_

 

_Rey used every will power to not breakdown in front of this person, who she thought she knew so well and had hoped that he felt the same way about her._

 

_“You’re a fucking prick, Ben Solo.” She emphasized it with a large smack across Ben’s cheek._

 

_Crumple it was then._

 

======================

 

“Ok, ow, owwww.” Ben whined out as Phas’s nimble fingers twist one of his ginormous ears.

 

“You’re an idiot. You’re actually an idiot. I don’t know even—gah. You’re annoying!” She finally lets go.

 

Poe went to bed annoyed and disappointed after Ben had told his story. Next morning, he had called Phas in the middle of her dawn run to come to their place so everyone would be caught up with Ben’s stupidity. Now, they were in Ben’s room, having their pow wow. Well, Hux was snoring away next to Ben in the bed, jetlag getting to him. 

 

“Why would you do that?!” The blonde continued on, her New York accent slipping. “Like you just ruined everything. You obviously loved her. You could’ve had everything, Ben. But no! You decided to open your mouth!”

 

Ben sat there, looking down at his hands. Taking Phas’ words like a champ. It’s been five years. He definitely has beaten up himself enough about everything. He thought he was doing the RiGhT thing.

 

“Phas, take it down a notch. Theo is still sleeping.” Poe admonished lightly.

 

“I wish I knew you back then because I would’ve dragged your stupid ass back to her to end things properly or admit that you loved her! Sorry, ugh.”

 

Ben stood up and frustratedly ran his fingers through his hair, as he often does. “Okay, it’s out there. I’m an idiot. I fucked up. I thought I was sparing her from having to choose between me and her dream career. I thought I was the good guy back then. Obviously, didn’t execute it right. I’ve beaten myself up everyday for it and probably more now since I found out she had my kid. I screwed up. But I’ll damn make sure to make it up to Rey for him—You guys said you’ll be there for me, so do I still have you guys?”

 

Phas and Poe looked at each other, thinking about it. But of course, they’ve been friends for a long time. They’re family. That was not a hard question.

 

“Yes,” they said in unison. Hesitantly? Perhaps, but the love and support was there.

 

Ben let out a sigh of relief because he damn well knew, he couldn’t do this alone. “Thank you.”

 

Silence fell upon them but was quickly interrupted by a giggle of a little boy. “Stop it. That’s ticklish, kitty.”

 

A smile was now on Ben’s face. “Guess he’s awake and have met the cat. I’ll go check on him.”

 

They watched him leave. “You guys are a mess,” Phas remarked as she took Ben’s place in the bed.

 

“What do you mean ‘you guys’? I’m just chilling, here. It was med school. You didn’t know us back then. I lived in that same apartment with them when all that happened, and they _didn’t_ tell me.” Poe was indeed hurt because he would’ve done something to stop his friend’s stupidity, too. Especially, now he knew why Finn, Rey’s _best friend_ , suddenly dropped him after Rey ‘moved’ away. Ben's relationship wasn't the only one that suffered. 

 

Phasma gave a dramatic sigh then a shrug. She just wanted a little dramatics in her quiet life, but she didn’t mean this. “Hux,” Phas leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. He woke up a little. “I’m very happy you’re back, darling. We’ve missed you. When are you coming back to the hospital?”

 

“Wednesday,” he sleepily mumbled in return.

 

“The ladies at the hospital will be _so excited_ to see you back,” Poe smirked.

 

“Right,” Phas laughed. “They thought they got a break from any STIs.”

 

“Fuck off,” Hux muttered out before burying his head into the pillow.

 

“We love you, Armie. Sleep tight,” she rubbed his shoulders.

 

Poe and Phas left the room laughing.

 

======================

 

“Morning, kid.”

 

Ben had found Theo on the couch with the orange tabby on top of him.

 

He swiveled his head to beam at the man. “Good morning. She’s a heavy kitty cat.”

 

Ben picked up Millie and placed her aside. “That she is. Come on, let’s brush our teeth and I probably need to clean your stitches again.”

 

“Aww, okay. Is Uncle Finn coming back soon?” He clambered over the couch.

 

“Uh, he should be here after breakfast.”

 

Theo nodded. “Where’d Hux go?” That was just the start of his questions for the morning. 

 

“Okay, can you not do that in front of my Cocoa Puffs? I am trying to eat here.”

 

Phasma smiled upside down between her legs. “The body is a temple, Dameron.”

 

“This is the eating area. Quit it.” Ben’s deep voice broke through.

 

“Hi, little man! Remember me?” Phasma asked the boy.

 

“Dr. Gwen!”

 

“That I am. And I think you can actually get your stitches out today. Some good news for you,” She directed the last statement to Ben. She then went on with her stretches.

 

Theo settled himself on the bench next to Poe, who showed him two cereal boxes. “You want Ben’s healthy crap or Cocoa Puffs?”

 

The brown box with a goofy looking bird seemed way better than the plain white box to the young boy’s mind. “Cocoa Puffs!”

 

“Dameron,” Ben warned lowly. He didn’t know what type of diet Rey has Theo in. With the Mexican food and now sugary crap, they were probably disrupting the kid’s digestive system.

 

“It’s fine,” he whispered as he poured some cereal into a bowl. Ben gave a defeated sigh and made himself a bowl of his chocolatey goodness less cereal.

 

“Okay, well it’s been quite a morning. I’m going to run back home. I’ll see you beautiful people later.” Phas planted a kiss on Poe’s head, then a scruffle through lil Theo’s hair. For Ben, Phas gave him a flick on the forehead before soothing it with a kiss.

 

“Ow.” Ben complained with a mouthful of cereal.

 

“Bye, bye!” Then she was gone.

 

“How is it, Theo?” Poe asked.

 

“Mmm,” he grinned. “May I have another bowl, please?”

 

“No,” Ben was quick to reply. The amount of sugar in that box already made his teeth hurt. So he cared about his health. Sue him.

 

“Pleaseeee,” Theo pulled out the puppy eyes. This kid was getting too comfortable already.

 

“Come on. Look at that. Who could say no to that?” Poe encouraged the face.

 

A ringtone and Hux dragging his feet filled the room. “I’m going to murder you and your uncle. He’s been calling non-stop.” He tossed the phone to him. Ben’s heart jumped a little but effortlessly caught the phone.

 

“You idiot,” he mumbled. Hux slumped himself on the couch and fell right asleep. Millie making a place on his back.

 

Ben saw the long notifications of texts and calls from Luke, Poe and Theo taking this chance to get them another bowl of Cocoa Puffs.

 

 _It’s about Rey_. Was the text that stood out for him the most and got him to quickly call his uncle.

 

“What about her? Is everything, okay?” Ben jumped right to it after the ring.

 

“She’s awake.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I didn't disappoint. I prolly did tho lmao

**Author's Note:**

> A story idea in my head that I couldn’t shake off. Apologies for any medical inaccuracies. Hope you enjoyed the first chapter and hope you’ll come back for more! Thank you!
> 
> Let me know you what y’all think!


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